::releasing the hold::

I think today is one of the best days I've had in awhile....and I think its because I let go of somethings that were just weighing me down, things that I had no control over but yet I was so wrapped up in worry over them I could hardly even pray about them. Peter didn't say; "cast only the cares you feel like casting on Jesus, like the small ones, because He cares for you."...no he said; "Cast ALL your cares on Him because He cares for you...!'' 1 Peter 5:7

Why does it seem so much easier to fret then to trust, to worry then to have faith, and to control instead of releasing?

The more one gives to GOD the more He can give back. The more He can control the better everything turns out. The more we worry and try to control the more we take for ourselves and the more we make us miserable and those around us miserable!! Jesus said that the birds of the air, and the lilies of the field are taken care of, but yet we humans who say we believe that we mean more to GOD, worry about all the big things in life and only trust GOD with the little things, the things that if we tried real hard (or not) we could fix just well enough on our own, and then we sit back and cry our little eyes out saying "GOD!!! Why are you doing this to me? Why aren't you there, why aren't you helping me as we wrestle with the boulders, but yet we sulkily tell Him "no its mine," when ever He tries to take it..I think the cure is in us, or should I say in me.

I know that for me it is time to start trusting GOD with everything, including the gigantic things in my life...the things dear to my heart...with me even!!!!!

It's time for me to show Him I love Him in more then words, but in the way that I completely through myself into His arms and gleefully yell; "CATCH ME DADDY! I LOVE YOU THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MUCH!!!!!!

::thankfulness::

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" Psalms 118:1 (ESV)

I find that for myself it is so easy to get caught up in all the little annoyances of life and forget just how blessed I am. But when I stop and allow myself to see what others around me are going through or have already gone through, I end up being stopped dead in my tracks. I have absolutely nothing to complain about!

This subject has been on my heart a lot lately and I found it quite amazing when I picked up my bible and just started reading and realized that everything I was reading had something to do with trusting God, thanking God, and fearing God!!! All of those being subjects I have a lot to learn in!

Paul says we're to "give thinks in EVERYTHING," not just the things we feel like...because so often the things we want to be grateful for are things that somehow draw all attention to ourselves....Matthew Henry says: "We are appointed to sing psalms, &c., for the expression of our thankfulness to God; but, though we are not always singing, we should never want a disposition for this duty, as we never want matter for it. We must continue it throughout the whole course of our lives; and we should give thanks for all things; not only for spiritual blessings enjoyed, and eternal ones expected (for what of the former we have in hand, and for what of the other we have in hope), but for temporal mercies too; not only for our comforts, but also for our sanctified afflictions; not only for what immediately concerns ourselves, but for the instances of God's kindness and favour to others also. It is our duty in every thing to give thanks unto God and the Father, to God as the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ and our Father in him, in whose name we are to offer up all our prayers, and praises, and spiritual services, that they may be acceptable to God."

The Psalmist said; "Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous; and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness." (KJV) How often do we think about all that Jesus did and is still doing for us, and yet keep moving on with our daily lives as if it was nothing?

Jesus suffered the impossible for us, and He deserves all our love, praise, gratitude and adoration. That is true worship! Worship isn't singing repetitious choruses waving your hands in the air and feeling good about yourself. Worship is continually bringing glory and honor to the Almighty, thanking and praising him with our hearts, our lives and our lips!!!

April Thoughts

"I prayed to the LORD and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy, no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles: For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh the the joys of those who take refuge in him!" Psalm 34:4-8

The other day I had been praying, begging GOD to do something deeper in my life...begging him to free me, to show me more of him and all of the sudden Ps. 36 crossed my mind, so I looked it up...it didn't really have much to do with what I'd been praying about...and then I looked across the page and these words just jumped out at me. It was as if Jesus whispered into my heart at that moment and said; "My little girl I've heard your prayers, I've seen you tears and I am here. I've answered you prayers and I will wipe away your tears. I love you!"

I am amazed everyday at the extent of His never ending love and grace.

I feel as though He has taken a shovel and trimmers and been digging and cutting things out of my life....its been so painful, but refreshing!!

I will say that He is becoming the LOVE of my life. I wish I could say that He was already, but I'm learning that that comes with complete abandonment of self. Complete worship and adoration to Him. That, I'm afraid I am still learning. But I'm willing to keep going until He is that total, unreserved LOVER of my soul.

More Samoan Pics

All these photo's were taken by a variety of people. Bethany Grizzard, Yolanda Halteman, Rachelle Grizzard and myself.

Thoughts About Life

ok so like since getting back from Samoa i spend a lot of time thinking........thinking about what i'm gonna do with my life, how i'm gonna do it.....how i am going to successfully draw closer to God and i spend time wondering.....wondering why He doesn't work in my life as He has others.....contemplating the miracles He's working out in my life....so slowly and subtle like that i almost miss them.....i get excited about it all. i don't think i'll ever figure it all out but i do know this.....HE'S IN CONTROL! it seems like i'm always trying to get in and control the situations.....RED ALERT when that happens (grins) i always tend to mess it up.

going to Samoa gave me a vision for my life and just know down inside my lil heart that God is going to provide me with His success and strength! He's on my side if i rest in His will, my hand is in His!!!!

Pictures Of My Favorite Kids In Samoa

::thankfullness::

being tHaNkFuLL is my latest lesson in life.....i so often find myself wishing for this or wishing this and that was different instead of being thankful for the things that GoD has given me. hE has blessed me with so much more then i can imagine. i want my life to sPeAk of a BiG GoD. a GoD that is my lOvEr and my protector. a GoD who blesses me with HiS gRaCe and PoWeR. hE has done so much for mE i have nothing to do but to tHanK and pRaiSe hIm!!!!!

::iN eVerYtHiNg gIvE tHaNkS -GoD::

misc. photo's

::trust...faith::

i am begining to understand that you can't have faith without trusting, and you cant trust without faith! so many times i find myself attempting to trust God but not having the faith i need to completely believe He has everything in control! i think about this a lot because i find it is a major issue with me to completely trust the one who loves me more then my small mind can ever comprehend. as this year of my life is drawing to a close, i have been thinking about what i want in my life for this next year;

#1. i want a deeper relationship with Christ then i'v had, even then this year

#2. i want to learn to trust more, to have a very real faith in Christ

#3. last but not least i want to gain more of Christs life in mine. i want to learn how to think and act like Him. i want people to not see me but to see Him. its not about me, its not about you...its ALL about Him! "i dont wanna go through the motions. i dont wanna go one more day, without your all-consuming passion inside of me. i dont wanna spend my whole life askin', what if i'd given everything".

i also want to thank God for being my everything...my HERO, and my lover!!!

::HERO::

i just wanted to broadcast to every one that i have a Hero!!! and that Hero is Jesus!!! this morning i realized how much i luv Him!!!! its so amazing how much He has done for me, and yet i deserved non of it, but He just continues to luvs me so much....mercy, i'm totally amazed!!! -grins

-choices-

Today I've been thinking about choices......choices we make. It can start with something as simple as getting up in the morning or it can start with something more complicated like a life long choice to follow Christ. Each day we fill our moments with choices. Some that don't really matter and some that do. Sometimes we view choices as something nominal, small, unimportant, maybe something we don't even give much thought. It scared me to realize how little thought I put in to the choices I make every day.

We choose what our life is going to be like. We choose how we're gonna feel, how we're gonna act, who we're gonna be and most importantly, Who we're going to follow and if we're going to believe, trust, rest, commit, and worship Him.

1. Are we going to choose to Believe Him?

You know it is so easy to feel like God doesn't care because life sucks for some reason or other and that He seams to be so far away and we just cant seem to reach out and grasp Him....we have to make that choice to believe.....believe when He says: " I will never leave you nor forsake you"...."Lo I am with all ways, even to the end of the earth"....those are words for us promises for us to choose to obey.

2. Are we going to choose to Trust Him?

Trust is the Key to our joy and peace in Christ. We must learn to trust Him. Trust that He loves us, that He knows best, that He has us in the palm of his hand.

3. Are we gonna choose to Rest in Him?

This is one that I have a hard time with.....completely resting in my Saviour. But I must rest in Him knowing that He loves me more then I can ever hope to imagine.

4. Are we going to Commit to Him?

I have to ask myself so many times if I have completely committed my life to Him....If I haven't it leaves open doors for the enemy to attack me.

5. Are we going to choose to Worship Him?

Worship can be administered in so many ways....need to worship God with our lives, the way we show others who He is. The way we serve Him.....the way we choose to believe Him.

Some Of My C.O.P's Girls

MIcah and Brian!

My Neices!

I Need You...

"God I need you

I need you now

I need you presence

This very hour"

"God I need you

I need your strength

To sustain me

In your arms"

"But you oh LORD,

Are my shield

And my glory

And the lifter of my head"

written by: Sarah Foster- March 09

Yesterday I was reading in the Psalms and I thought it so amazing at how much David talks about "trusting God". So often i find myself trusting myself with my problems and sometimes even trusting others to give me the answers that I need, and the result of both of those is confusion, anxiety and yes even depression. I've experienced the whole nine yards and yet I will admit I still haven't learned my lesson...:) I do know that to mistrust God is -yes I'll call it sin- after all that He has done for us, after all the love and mercy and grace He's given us and we still don't trust Him must totally break His heart. Especially when we trust others or ourselves instead, when we put out trust in earthly things/people we are telling God we are better and bigger then He is. What a slap in His face....you know in all reality that attitude is the same attitude Lucifer had....he thought he was better than God and when we do not put our full trust in Him that is EXACTLY what we are saying! Oh, as I right this I will say that I have a lot of repenting to do in this area myself. God is such a loving Father, you read through the psalms and the pages are full of His faithfulness. He has done nothing to lose our trust.
"But let those that put their TRUST in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12

OK I haven't blogged here in ages, partly because I haven't quite known how to put my thoughts into words let alone in print. (I'm not the best at words...) Lately it seems I've been traveling along a road full of new things to learn, new hurdles to cross and all in all more ways to grow up and mature. the last week or so has been a major growing time. Through it all I felt it was just another dry spell in my life, I felt like God was just ages away, and I needed direction, answers but I heard nothing. I begged Him to show me He was there, that He really was calling my name through all that I was facing but I heard nothing. I'd pick up my bible and it seemed even that was against me. everything I read was about getting punished some how. Saturday night though I was so discouraged, I didn't know what to do. I picked up my Bible before going to bed and opened it to Isaiah 40 and I just started reading, and the last few verses totally spoke to me. "Why sayest thou, O Jacob and speakest, O Isreal, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of His understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no strength He increaseth strength......But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:27-29 & 30

Ever since that evening I feel like God has put different things in my path to prove to me that He is there and He always will be, and that need not worry about Him forgetting me. :)

"Even through all our pain and anguish Jesus is standing just off to our left....calling our name." -Daniel Kenaston